Overall, it is a great life….

Times like this are the lowest points in my life…. It seems I am in a futile battle against myself.

 

I’m turning a year older tomorrow and I have been reflecting about what I have done and what have I become.. I do this each year, religiously. There are so many good things I can recall doing that have made fruitful by-products. But I have also done as many of the otherwise. So many have crossed me, to which I turned with wrath. But then, it could be the other way, I may have been the one who crossed against the line.

 

At this point, I can’t help but cry. Cry for the people I have hurt meaninglessly. Cry for the people I should have fun with to this day, but choose to alienate myself. I cry for the moments that I could have been better, but choose to stay as I am. And most importantly, I cried for the person that I could have become….my dreams…..my good intentions……my family……my friends….

 

But I’m not even half my life. I can still make things better. I can still be the real person I am inside. And the day after tomorrow, I’m going to start my campaign. I’m done with all my pains and heartaches. An hour of hapless cry is enough for this year. I wish people can be nice to me, life in general…but I don’t think so. Life is almost always unfair and that can never be change with all the tears I have shed in my entire life. But that’s what makes life so much more meaningful. And I’m grateful for all the hurt it caused me…I am far braver and wiser now. And whatever life throws on me, I know I can take it standing and smiling……