I am probably having the worst new year of my life. This is not what I have planned. In fact, what I had in mind was more of the otherwise. I planned to have a great celebration of life, my family and loved ones. But how could that possibly be? The one and only person I shared, trusted, and been with for 14 years is ending everything with me? I think that is unfair. Is this New Year just has to be a total beginning of a new life? I still believe we are good together and that ending all of these is insane. But what can I do if that’s what my love wants?

I have my own share of imperfections, and I probably had neglected the small things that count in a relationship. But I had been faithful all along. I never thought of being with someone else or sharing my life to someone I can meet in the future. I had my mind and heart fixed to just one person, and all I got is this. As if it is not enough, I am dying from hurt here and they (my darling and that f**king wacko) is having a good time together. How could anyone do that?

They have just met seen each other again last December 18 and now they feel like they are the only ones who have the right to be happy? What happened to respect? To delicadeza as the Spaniards would put it? Don’t they realize they had hurt someone so bad to be really happy? Don’t I deserve a little time to heal and at least for you my love to show me you also hurt for me? Or was I just a fool to give you too much credit? What pains me the most is that I know my love is not really in love with that creep but considers the lifetime security of a hefty bank account can make.

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I know its Christmas and I am supposed to be really happy. But how can I after my darling for 14 years announced that it is all over for us? That someone else had come and given her an opportunity to make all things right for both of us. Why, was I wrong all along? I can’t figure it out. Why would anyone just break someone’s heart? That someone who had shared every moment of life, happy and sad? How could someone just come and break my heart in time for Christmas?

Frankly, I knew this is going to come but I have always believed in us. I thought we were invincible. I don’t believe any of my thoughts now. I don’t believe me. I don’t and I can’t believe anyone else now. I think the world is seriously funny and that some people are just sick in their minds!

To you my one and only love, you hurt me too much. I really can’t believe you can do this but whoa, I was wrong again. How could you hurt me this way? In fact, I should ask how you could have replaced me before you actually discard me. I have so many questions and I can’t get any answer. Really, how could anyone break someone’s heart saying they loved them but they just got to move on? What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you? What’s wrong with the world?